Going Out With a Bang
by SarahRabb705
Summary: What could have happened if Admiral Chegwidden had used his last day to order certain officers under his command to face their feelings. HM! The third and final chapter is up!
1. Chapter 1

Going Out With a Bang

AN: I've always thought that AJ had Harm and Mac worked out pretty well throughout the series so this is my take on what could have happened if AJ had taken some er, interesting measures, on his final day as Admiral. This sets the story in the universe of Hail and Farewell except that in my story the thing with Webb never happened. He exists but was never involved with Mac. H/M all the way! I suspect you don't need to know that though, all my stories are shipper ones! This one is no different. It won't be as long as some of my other stories. It originally started as a one-shot but grew from there. I thought I'd post a chapter first to see if there's any interest before putting the rest up.

Chapter 1

AJ sat at his desk, staring at a random point on his wall as he thought about what he was about to do. He'd spent a lot of time thinking about it and now, on his last day in the role of the JAG, he was going to do it. At times it seemed crazy, it was certainly completely unorthodox but it was the right thing to do. Not for himself, though it would make him happy to see the positive outcome, but for their own happiness. Hell, they weren't likely to do it themselves so he thought it was time to lend a hand, and hopefully push them in the right direction.

"Coates, can you get me Commander Turner?" asked AJ, speaking to Jennifer through the intercom.

"Yes sir, I'll let him know," came Jen's reply.

"Enter!" he called at the knock on the door a minute later.

Sturgis entered and stood at attention in front of his desk.

"Take a seat Commander. I'd just like a quick word," said AJ.

"Aye sir," said Sturgis, taking a seat.

"As you'll be the Acting JAG until my replacement comes in, I need to let you know that I'll be leaving you to deal with a bit of a situation," said AJ.

"I'll do my best to take care of it as you would sir," replied Sturgis, looking confused and intrigued at the same time.

"I'll be the one causing it Commander, well, along with two of your friends," said AJ.

"I don't quite understand sir," said Sturgis.

"I've been in this position for a long time Commander, and I'm going to do something out of left field today. Right after this meeting is concluded actually," said AJ.

"I trust your judgment sir," said Sturgis, getting more confused and intrigued by the minute.

"Good. Let's hope Rabb and Mackenzie do too," said AJ with a smile.

"This plan involves the Commander and the Colonel sir?" asked Sturgis, his eyebrows raised.

"They're not exactly willing participants, but orders are orders," said AJ, looking amused.

"Ah, yes sir," said Sturgis. "If I may ask sir, what orders will you be giving them?"

"You will have noticed, as everyone else has, that those two are too stubborn to do anything about how they feel so I'm planning to force them to finally admit their feelings," said AJ, looking even more amused.

Sturgis looked surprised for a moment. The plan was crazy but in a good way. A smile spread slowly across his face as he thought of the possibilities.

"You'll have no argument from me sir," said Sturgis.

"Do you think they'll be as receptive to the idea?" asked AJ.

"I think that although they might not show it, yes they will," said Sturgis confidently.

"Has either of them ever said anything to you? I want to make sure I have all bases covered before bringing them in," said AJ, looking at Sturgis expectantly. Sturgis hesitated, and AJ glared at him.

"Commander? If you know something I'd like to hear it," said AJ sternly.

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't tell you," said Sturgis finally.

"Hmm, one of them spoke to you, maybe told you about these feelings that are obvious to everyone but themselves and then told you not to say anything?" guessed AJ. Sturgis nodded.

"I could order you to tell me more about this conversation, and as you know from my plan for Rabb and Mackenzie, I'm not above doing that," said AJ, giving Sturgis a pointed look.

"Yes sir," said Sturgis, thinking about what would happen if Mac ever found out that he'd revealed her secret, even if it was under orders.

"However, before I order it, which one of them swore you to secrecy?" asked AJ.

"It was Colonel Mackenzie sir," said Sturgis, after hesitating for another moment.

"Oh. In that case, you don't need to say anything. I would not want to leave a severely injured Acting JAG in my place," said AJ with a slight smile. He thought Sturgis would be safer divulging a secret of Harm's than one of Mac's any day.

Sturgis let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you sir."

"All right, time for the fireworks to begin. Dismissed!" said AJ.

"Yes sir, good luck," said Sturgis, turning and leaving the room, wishing that he could be a fly on the wall for the meeting that was to follow.

Taking a few moments to ready himself, AJ paced his office and then asked Coates to send Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie to see him.

"Yes sir," said Jennifer. She let them both know and watched as the two of them entered AJ's office, the door closing behind them.

"You called sir?" asked Harm, as they stood at attention in front of his desk.

"Yes, I have a matter I need to discuss. As you know it's my last day today and I thought I'd go out with a bang so to speak. This is so unorthodox I think some of you must have rubbed off on me Rabb, as scary as that thought is," said AJ, allowing a small smile to cross his face. There had been no direction to stand at ease, and both officers stood staring straight ahead, curious looks on their faces.

"Sir," began Harm.

"No Commander, I expect you to remain where you are and speak only when asked to. That goes for you too Colonel," said AJ, glaring at them.

"Yes sir!" they replied.

"Right, Rabb. I have one question for you and you must respond honestly, that is an order," said AJ authoritatively.

"Aye sir," said Harm, wondering what exactly the Admiral wanted to talk to them about. Mac wondered vaguely what Harm had done to get them into trouble this time, but her musings were interrupted when the Admiral posed his question.

"Commander Rabb, are you in love with Colonel Mackenzie?" asked AJ.

Mac's jaw dropped in surprise but she quickly returned to her previous stance, and AJ noted that she was looking both surprised and nervous. Mac couldn't quite see Harm's expression as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye but his splutter of surprise when the question was asked told her he was just as surprised as she was. Harm was finding it difficult to form words and was still standing there mutely.

"Do I need to repeat the question Commander?" asked AJ, glaring at Harm.

"No sir," said Harm quickly, not wanting the question to be repeated.

"Answer the question then, that is an order," said AJ.

Harm mouthed soundlessly for another moment, looking helplessly at his CO, who was looking stern, but Harm thought he detected a certain amusement in his eyes.

"Er, yes sir," said Harm finally.

"Yes?" questioned AJ, wanting further clarification.

"Yes, I am in love with the Colonel sir," said Harm quietly, not daring to try to see Mac's reaction. Shock mingled with joy had immediately registered on her face and she turned her head to look at him for the fraction of a second, before turning her attention straight ahead again.

"Eyes ahead Colonel," said AJ sternly, having noticed her movement.

Harm could feel his face burning, he knew AJ would ask Mac the same question and dreaded her answer. The Admiral's plan, which was now quite clear, would backfire the moment she responded, Harm was quite sure of that. Mac knew what was coming next, the Admiral had glanced at her and looked like he was ready to speak.

"Colonel Mackenzie, are you in love with Commander Rabb?" asked AJ, now moving in front of her and crossing his arms expectantly. "Remember, I want an honest answer and that is an order."

Mac swallowed nervously, her mouth had gone completely dry. Sighing softly, she mustered up the courage to respond.

"I am in love with the Commander sir," she replied, her voice coming out just above the level of a whisper.

Harm however, heard her loud and clear and could barely conceal his surprise. AJ smiled, his plan so far having worked out perfectly. He'd known that it would, now all they needed was a chance to talk privately.

"Take the rest of the day off and I expect you to talk about the knowledge each of you has just acquired. Dismissed!" said AJ, allowing a smile to cross his face.

Harm and Mac executed perfect 180's and walked numbly out of the office, both unable to speak.

"Er, so we should uh, talk," began Harm, looking at her for the first time since their CO had forced them to admit their feelings.

"I uh, I guess so," said Mac, still shocked.

"Let's go to your apartment," said Harm.

"Okay. I just need to pack up," said Mac.

Harm nodded and they each made their way to their offices, packing up what they needed and meeting again in the bullpen. Jennifer watched all this in fascination, noting that the Commander and Colonel both looked like fish out of water. She wondered what their meeting with AJ had been about and why it had had such an effect on them.

"Coates!" said AJ, appearing at his door.

"Yes sir?" said Jen.

"Back to work," said AJ.

"Yes sir," said Jen, averting her eyes from the two officers.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

AN1: Thank you all for the feedback to the first chapter, it is much appreciated! I hope you enjoy this next installment. The third and final chapter will be posted tomorrow.

AN2: Odakota, thanks for your offer to be my beta-reader! I tried emailing you but I got a mailing error. Do you have a different email address?

Disclaimer: I forgot to add this to chapter one so I'm adding it here. I do not own or have anything to do with JAG. I am just a fan!

Harm and Mac walked out of the bullpen silently and ended up at the car park, neither really remembering how they'd gotten there.

"I'll follow you," said Harm, finally breaking the silence as they stood awkwardly by their cars. Mac nodded mutely and before she knew it she was unlocking the door to her apartment, Harm following her in.

"Can I get you anything?" asked Mac.

"Water would be great," said Harm.

Mac headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge, getting two bottles of water out and handing one to Harm.

"Thanks," he said, taking a long drink.

"So, uh, interesting tactic of the Admiral's," said Harm as they both sat down on the couch.

"Yeah, I don't think either of us saw that one coming," said Mac with a nervous smile.

"Mac," said Harm.

"Harm," said Mac. They'd spoken at the same time and looked at each other, chuckling lightly.

"Ladies first," said Harm.

"You're in love with me?" asked Mac, jumping right in before she lost her courage.

"Yeah, I am," said Harm quietly, looking into her eyes. Mac smiled, the shock was starting to wear off and joy and relief had set in. They were no longer dancing around the topic but had tackled it head on, with the Admiral's assistance. He reciprocated her feelings and they were finally moving towards a relationship.

"When did it start? I mean, we haven't exactly been close lately," said Mac, she knew how long it had been for her and wanted to know exactly when it had started for him too.

"Eight years ago," replied Harm. He was a little nervous to be telling her just how long it had been, but the time had finally come for the talk they'd been evading for years. It was time for the truth and the happiness that immediately appeared on Mac's face made any remaining nervousness he had disappear. Mac found that she was speechless at this revelation and moved closer, giving him a quick hug.

"I'll take that as a sign that you don't want to kill me," said Harm with a smile.

"Good guess," teased Mac.

"So you're in love with me?" asked Harm, almost shyly.

"I'm in love with you. And here's the funny part…it started eight years ago for me too," said Mac, her eyes not leaving his. Harm couldn't have described how he felt at that moment, they'd clearly wasted a lot of time but he was glad that they'd finally gotten the chance to get things right.

"We're quite the pair aren't we," he remarked, quirking an eyebrow at her and shaking his head with a laugh.

"I'd say so," agreed Mac with a smile.

They looked at each other for a moment before shyly leaning in, their lips touching tentatively before their feelings took over and the kiss became anything but tentative.

"Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?" asked Harm, breathlessly when they'd reluctantly pulled apart.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" asked Mac, smiling widely.

"Definitely," replied Harm, giving her his flyboy grin.

"I'd love to," said Mac.

"I'd like you to be my date for the Admiral's dining out tonight too," said Harm.

"I was going to be your unofficial date anyway, since we were both going solo remember?" said Mac teasingly.

"I'll take that as a yes," said Harm smiling.

"It is a yes," confirmed Mac, smiling back.

"We'll have to thank the Admiral for this. I don't know if I ever would have worked up the courage to tell you. I'm sorry it took me so long," said Harm.

"That's okay. I'm sorry too, I don't know if I would have told you either," said Mac. "The Admiral will be happy, he got exactly what he wanted. It was definitely unorthodox but it helped us."

"We got exactly what we wanted too," said Harm, caressing her cheek lovingly.

"Yes, we finally got it right," said Mac.

"About time too. I'm sure there will be more to discuss but we got through the important parts," said Harm.

"We did. It wasn't as hard as we'd imagined it to be either," said Mac.

"No, it wasn't. Getting the words out in the Admiral's office was a bit of a challenge but we made it," said Harm, smiling at her.

"I think I'll always remember that moment," laughed Mac.

"When the spotlight was on you or when it was on me?" asked Harm teasingly.

"Both," said Mac with a smile.

Harm merely kissed her in reply, and Mac smiled against his lips, pulling him closer.

"I need to go," managed Mac between kisses, her internal clock alerting her of the hour a short time later.

"Where?" asked Harm, kissing her again.

"Bethesda. I have an appointment for a procedure," said Mac, pulling away and avoiding his eyes. She felt guilty that this was the first he was hearing about it after he'd cared about her so much he'd made the initial appointment at Bethesda for her himself. She hadn't been planning on telling him at all, she'd thought it would be better to just do it alone, even though she knew that if she'd told him, Harm would have been there for her without her even having to ask.

"Is this about the back pain you've been having?" asked Harm, immediately concerned.

"Yeah," said Mac.

"I'll go with you," said Harm. Mac smiled, this was part of the reason why she loved him so much, she knew that no matter what, he'd always be there for her.

"You don't need to, but I would like you to be there," said Mac, taking his hand.

"You shouldn't have to do this alone Mac. I love you and I want to be there for you," said Harm.

"I love you too," said Mac. As nervous as she was about the appointment, Harm had managed to put her at ease with a simple 'I love you'.

Bethesda Naval Hospital

Harm paced the hallway, unable to sit down. He knew that the procedure was not a big operation, but he was still worried. He had realised that Mac had been planning to go through it alone, she hadn't told him about it before the Admiral's intervention had forced them to face their feelings. He was glad he could be there for her, not just as her best friend and the man who secretly loved her but now, his feelings were out in the open and he was her...boyfriend. The thought made him smile but he wanted to change that status, and hoped that Mac would say yes to the proposal he'd make to her that evening. It hadn't taken him long at all to decide that he wanted to marry her, it had always been the path that he saw for himself and Mac.

Doctor's office  
After Mac's procedure

Mac swallowed, trying to keep her emotions under control, the doctor's words still echoing in her head. Harm's hand reached for hers and he gave her a reassuring squeeze. Somehow she found that she couldn't look at him, if she did, she didn't think she could keep the tears at bay. A follow-up appointment was made and then she and Harm were heading for the carpark. Mac was moving as if on auto-pilot, she had no idea how she was moving but Harm's hand still held hers and it was giving her the strength to keep walking. Harm stopped and turned to her when they reached his car.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly as he opened the door for her.

"I really don't want to talk about it," said Mac, still not looking at him.

"It's going to be okay Mac. I'm here for whatever you need," said Harm, kissing her forehead.

"Thanks," said Mac softly, looking up and meeting his eyes.

What she saw there was her undoing, the tears she'd been holding back escaped and Harm immediately took her into his arms, letting her cry against his chest. In his eyes, she'd seen that nothing had changed, his love was evident as was his concern for her. The problem was that things had changed, and now she couldn't give him everything that he wanted and deserved. Her dream of having a baby with Harm had been shattered all at once and it scared her to think about what could be going through his mind. He loved her, of that she was certain, but would her inability to give him children eventually come between them? She wasn't sure, even though her heart told her that it didn't matter to Harm. She could feel his heart beating beneath her damp cheek and he was rubbing her back slowly, reassuring her silently.

"I'm so glad you're here," said Mac as she finally pulled away.

"We're in this together," said Harm, wiping her tears away with his thumb. Mac managed a small smile and leaned forward to kiss him softly.

Mac's apartment

"You should go home to get ready," said Mac, the moment he'd parked the car outside her building.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" asked Harm, taking her hand as he turned to face her.

"I'm fine. Sure, I'll need some time to deal with this, but so would anyone else in my position," said Mac. She needed to put on a brave face for the Admiral's dining out and there was no time like the present to start.

"I know, and I want you to know that I'm going to be there for you every step of the way," said Harm. He studied her face, hoping for a clue as to how she was feeling but apart from the sadness in her eyes, she seemed to have put a mask over the rest of her emotions.

"I know you will, and I appreciate that," said Mac with a smile.

"Good. Let's get you upstairs and then I'll go home to change," said Harm.

"Harm, I'm fine to walk up on my own. We're cutting it really close as it is," said Mac.

"You're sure?" asked Harm, clearly concerned.

"I'm sure. I'm just a little uncomfortable but that's normal. Now go get dressed," said Mac.

"Okay, I'll see you soon then," said Harm, leaning over to give her a quick kiss.

"See you later," said Mac. She got out of the car slowly, Harm watching her carefully. He waited until she'd disappeared inside her building before driving home to change.

Mac was putting the last pin into her hair when she heard the door to her apartment open. She was fully dressed except for her jacket which was laid out on the bed.

"Mac?" called Harm, closing the door behind him and putting the bouquet of red roses he'd brought for her down on the coffee table.

"In here," called Mac from inside her bedroom, checking her hair in the mirror.

"Hey Marine," said Harm, entering through the open door. He stopped at the sight of her and Mac blushed a little under his gaze.

"Hey Sailor," she said. "You'll catch flies," she continued teasingly.

Harm chuckled. "You look beautiful," he said.

"Thank you. I'm going with a handsome Sailor and wanted to look my best," said Mac with a smile as she smoothed down her dress uniform.

"Oh really? Do I know him?" teased Harm, as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I think so," smiled Mac. Harm smiled back and kissed her.

"I brought you something but I left it in the living room," he said.

"What did you bring?" asked Mac curiously, as she picked up her jacket. Harm took it from her and helped her put it on.

"You'll see," he said.

Mac checked herself one last time in the mirror before following him into the living room. Harm had picked up the roses and was holding them out to her.

"They're beautiful Harm, thank you!" said Mac, kissing him and taking the roses with a smile.

"I'm glad you like them," said Harm.

"Shall we go?" asked Harm, once Mac had put the roses in water.

"Yes, we don't want to be later than we already are," said Mac, taking the arm that he held out to her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

AN: I know I said this would be up sooner, but I felt it needed to be tweaked a little first. I hope you all enjoy this third and final part and thanks again for the feedback to the story so far! I think this chapter ends at a place that requires no epilogue, but do let me know if you think one is needed. I'll be getting back to my other stories now, it's been awhile since they were updated, especially And Baby Makes Three. I just had to get this one out though, the question of "what if" was too strong not to! All right, that's all from me. Read on!

AJ had noticed that two of his officers were absent at the beginning of the dining out that evening and was having a hard time deciding whether that was a good or bad sign. It wasn't like Mac to be late for anything but he knew that Harm was prone to being late. He decided to give them a little longer before giving one of them a call. Just minutes later, AJ saw Harm escort Mac into the room. They greeted the others at their table and Harm pulled Mac's chair out for her before taking a seat himself. AJ wondered about what had happened between the time he'd dismissed them earlier and that moment. Sturgis was also watching them with interest, AJ having informed him of what had gone on in his meeting with Harm and Mac. He'd have a situation to deal with all right, but at least it was for a good cause. Harm caught AJ's eye, giving his CO a smile and a small nod. Mac noticed the interaction and smiled in AJ's direction too. A satisfied smile crossed AJ's face, his plan seemed to have worked out perfectly. Once the speeches had been completed and everyone was mingling, Harm took Mac's hand and led her outside.

"Where are we going?" asked Mac.

"It's a nice night out," said Harm vaguely. Mac gave him a curious look but sat down beside him on a bench.

"It feels natural doesn't it?" began Harm nervously.

"What does?" asked Mac.

"This. Us," said Harm, gesturing between them.

"Yeah, it does. It feels completely natural," said Mac with a smile.

"I love you Mac, I have for a long time now," said Harm.

"I know. I love you too," said Mac, touching his cheek affectionately as she smiled at him.

Harm covered her hand with his and took her other hand also, holding them between his larger ones. His throat had gone completely dry and he coughed, trying to get his nervousness under control.

"Are you getting sick Harm?" asked Mac, concerned.

"No, I'm fine. Just nervous," said Harm.

"What are you nervous about?" asked Mac, not quite following.

"I need to ask you something," said Harm.

"Okay," said Mac, a little amused to see him so nervous.

"I know this might be sudden but we've wasted eight years already and I don't want to waste any more time. Mac…Sarah, will you marry me?" asked Harm, looking into her eyes.

Mac stared at him, shocked and thrilled at the same time. Everything that had happened that day went through her mind. It wasn't sudden, not after all the years they'd loved each other and although he'd just made all her dreams come true, she knew she couldn't possibly accept. It would be unfair to him, he deserved more than she could give him. Tears filled her eyes and she tried to blink them back. Harm was waiting for her response nervously.

"I'm so sorry, but I can't. I can't marry you," said Mac, her voice breaking with emotion. She burst into tears and looking at him apologetically, walked quickly away from the bench, resisting the urge to run due to having been told to take it easy by the doctor.

Harm watched her go, the hurt clear on his face. He sighed sadly, sitting there for several long moments before getting up and heading to the porch, not wanting to go back inside. AJ glimpsed Mac briefly before he lost sight of her. From that quick glimpse, he saw that she was crying. AJ shook his head sadly, earlier she and Harm had been the picture of happiness as they talked and laughed together during dinner. Had they already managed to ruin what they'd found?

Mac headed for the ladies room, hoping to find it empty. She didn't think she could face anyone at that moment and just wanted to be alone. Alone to regret what she'd just done. Mac found the ladies room empty except for Harriet who was drying her hands on a paper towel. In that split second when Harriet looked up at her, the urge to run away again disappeared and she felt glad that she'd found a friend to comfort her at a time like this.

"Ma'am, what's the matter?" asked Harriet, drying her hands hurriedly and rushing to her friend's side.

"I just….made…the biggest mistake…of my life," Mac managed to get out between sobs.

"It's okay ma'am, I'm sure it can be fixed," said Harriet, hugging Mac as she continued to cry.

"He asked me to marry him," said Mac tearfully.

"Who?" asked Harriet, her eyes wide.

"Harm," said Mac.

"Oh my goodness ma'am! Finally!" said Harriet, clearly thrilled.

"But then, why are you crying?" asked Harriet, confusion setting in.

"I turned him down, I screwed it all up. It's the biggest mistake I've ever made," said Mac.

"What? Why would you do that?" asked Harriet frowning.

"I found out I have endometriosis today Harriet. I'm never going to have kids. Harm deserves a wife who can give him children," said Mac, wiping a few tears away.

"Oh Mac, I'm so sorry," said Harriet, giving her another hug. "There are other ways though – fertility treatments, IVF, surrogacy, adoption."

"Harm deserves a wife who can give him a biological child," said Mac sadly.

"Does the Commander know?" asked Harriet.

"Yes, he was there when the doctor told me," said Mac.

"It wouldn't matter to the Commander," said Harriet, confident that now that her friends had finally found each other, something like this couldn't possibly come between them.

"He might think it doesn't now, but it will and then he'll resent me for it," said Mac, wiping a few tears away with the back of her hand.

"I don't believe that. Why would he?" said Harriet.

Mac shrugged, unable to speak as fresh tears made their way steadily down her cheeks.

"Do you love him?" asked Harriet.

"More than anything," said Mac. "I've loved him practically since the moment I met him." Saying it aloud at that moment made her smile, despite her sadness. Whatever happened between them, she'd always love him and knew that he felt the same way.

"I don't see the problem then. Harm loves you, you love him. You don't need to have kids the old fashioned way, there are other ways you can have a child. Even one that is still biologically yours and his," said Harriet wisely.

"Scientific ways," said Mac dejectedly.

"So? Would you love the baby any less?" asked Harriet. She knew what Mac's answer to the question would be, but felt that making Mac answer it might just make her friend see past her immediate pain regarding her condition.

"No, of course not," said Mac, the thought never having occurred to her.

"I don't see a problem with anything then," said Harriet with a smile.

"You're right Harriet. I've been stupid," said Mac, managing a small smile. "I hurt him so badly, I don't know how he could ever forgive me."

"Go find him," said Harriet.

"If he even wants to talk to me," said Mac.

"He will. He'll be hurting right now but just talk to him," said Harriet.

"I will," said Mac determinedly.

"Mac, I'm here if you need me. And if you and Harm decide you need a surrogate, after I have the twins, I'd be happy to," said Harriet. Mac just stared at her friend for a moment, not quite believing what she was hearing.

"Oh Harriet, that's really nice of you," said Mac, hugging Harriet.

"I mean it," said Harriet.

"Thank you, that means a lot. Thank you for everything," said Mac.

"A wedding invitation will be all the thanks I need," grinned Harriet.

"My maid of honor will definitely get an invitation," said Mac with a smile. Harriet wished her luck and left her alone, glad that after all the years they'd secretly been in love with each other, her two friends would finally get things right. Mac fixed her make-up quickly and then went to find Harm, hoping he hadn't left yet.

She found Harm out on the porch, leaning on the railing. He didn't look at her when she stood beside him but kept staring out into the night.

"I'm sorry," began Mac.

"You don't need to apologise. I understand. I'm sorry I pushed you so quickly," said Harm, determined to hide the hurt he was feeling.

"No, don't be sorry. I don't want you to be sorry," said Mac. He still hadn't looked at her, and she studied his profile. He was looking out onto the grounds, his mouth set in a line and his back rigid. Nervously, she reached out and touched his arm, letting her fingers slide down and rest on top of his hand as he leant on the railing. Harm had flinched slightly at the contact but then relaxed. He sighed and glanced at her quickly out of the corner of his eye.

"Can we still be friends?" he asked tentatively.

"I don't want to just be friends," said Mac, shaking her head.

Harm turned to looked at her then. "You don't want to be friends?"

"Harm, I'm really sorry about earlier. I was so stupid. I thought my condition would keep me from having everything I ever wanted, but I realise now that I already have it," said Mac. "At least I think I do. I still have your love don't I? I wouldn't blame you if you hate me."

"You do. I couldn't hate you Mac," said Harm. Mac felt a strong wave of relief wash over her. As long as she had his love she knew everything would work out. It had to, for the both of them.

"I'm glad. I wish I could go back in time and fix it but I can't. I can try though," said Mac. Harm merely looked at her questioningly.

"I love you Harm," she said.

"Not enough to marry me though. I understand," said Harm quietly.

"More than enough to marry you," said Mac, reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently.

Harm didn't reply, not quite knowing where she was going. Tears were falling down her cheeks and he reached out to wipe them away without thinking about it, it was an action that came naturally. As he moved his hand away, Mac took hold of it, placing a kiss on his palm.

"Will you still marry me Harm?" asked Mac, her eyes sparkling with tears.

"What?" asked Harm, his surprise evident.

"I'm proposing," said Mac, looking into his eyes.

"I don't understand Mac. You can't have changed your mind just like that. If this is about sparing my feelings, don't worry about it, I'll be fine," said Harm shortly. He couldn't believe that Mac would toy with his emotions like that, even though her eyes seemed to be telling him that she was completely serious.

"Harm no. Do you really think I'd do something like that?" asked Mac, her voice cracking. She couldn't believe that Harm would consider her capable of such a thing, she thought he knew her better than that.

"No, I know you're too kind to do that," replied Harm, reason catching up with his hurt feelings.

"Good. Listen to me please?" said Mac, relaxing.

"I'm listening," he said, trying hard to extinguish the ray of hope that had ignited the moment she'd asked whether he still loved her and was steadily getting stronger.

"I owe you an explanation. The reason I said no earlier was because I didn't want you to marry someone who couldn't give you children. You deserve more than that," said Mac, her eyes locked to his.

"There are other ways to have kids Mac, it doesn't matter to me how, as long as we do it together. I proposed because I love you," said Harm.

"I know that now and I'm so sorry. My answer wasn't because I don't want to marry you and certainly not because I don't love you enough. Can you ever forgive me?" said Mac.

"Forgiven and forgotten," said Harm, caressing her cheek lightly.

"Thank you," said Mac, relieved that they once again appeared to be on the same page.

"Are you sure about this Mac? I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about. I want you to be happy," said Harm, wanting to make sure that they understood each other completely.

"I'm very sure and I'll be the happiest woman in the world if you agree to marry me," said Mac. She kissed him, trying to put all of her love for him into the kiss. Harm's response was immediate, but after a few moments he broke the kiss and moved slightly away from her. Mac looked hurt for a moment but gasped when she saw him go down on one knee in front of her.

"I love you Sarah Mackenzie. Will you marry me?" asked Harm, no trace of nervousness in his voice as he now knew her answer.

Mac smiled widely, happy tears running down her cheeks. "Yes, definitely yes!" she said.

Harm stood up grinning and pulled her into a hug.

"I love you," he breathed into her ear.

"I love you too," said Mac.

"I don't have a ring on me right now but you'll get it," said Harm with a smile.

Mac smiled back at him. "I don't need a ring, but I'd be honored to wear any ring you give me. One thing I do need is a kiss though."

"What would your fiance say?" asked Harm, quirking an eyebrow at her with a teasing smile.

"He'd give us his blessing," said Mac grinning.

"In that case, your wish is my command," said Harm smiling. He pulled her close, kissing her lovingly.

Inside, AJ took one last look at the people he had come to consider his family through the years, and again noted the absence of Rabb and Mackenzie. Harriet and Bud were dancing, his new shoulder boards clearly visible. Jennifer was talking and laughing with the others at her table, and Sturgis was talking to Mike. He'd take a part of all of them with him and hoped that wherever Harm and Mac were, that they were together and happy. Stepping outside he started to walk away before something made him look back. There, in a corner of the porch were Harm and Mac, wrapped in a loving embrace, oblivious to anything but each other.

"About damn time," he said softly and smiled as he walked away.


End file.
